Negative self-talk is a destructive habit and part
of an essential defense mechanism that we often develop to protect
ourselves. Many people end up talking themselves out of actions
that may be scary or uncomfortable. "I can't do this" is really
just a way of saying "I don't want to deal with the experience
of doing this." We are all strongly influenced by our feelings,
often determining how and what action we ultimately take. If the
feeling is uncomfortable, negative self-talk results; then we
often decide not to take any action at all.
Many people assume that if a past experience produced
a certain result, there is nothing they can do to change that
experience in order to produce a different result. "I've tried
every diet there is. I know what I should do; I just can't do
it."
Please understand that you can make the choice not
to repeat old patterns of eating, non-exercise, and negative thinking.
You have the ability to choose the emotions you have. If you don't
like feeling guilty, frustrated, or doubtful, you can choose not
to. You, and no one else, must decide what is comfortable for
you. In order to become successful at making healthy choices,
you must avoid negative self-talk and start practicing positive
thinking.
Positive or negative self-talk plays a big part
in your decisions. Be on the "look-out for negative self-talk
and notice how it influences your choices; notice how it can negatively
affect your efforts to change. For example, perhaps you've just
returned from a week's vacation where you took a break from exercise
and low-fat eating. You tell yourself, "I feel so fat. I'm back
where I started." You feel guilty and frustrated. "I don't have
enough will-power to start all over again. Maybe I'm just meant
to be overweight." Feeling overwhelmed and discouraged, you give
up.
First, reflect on the feelings you had before you
decided to give up. You basically told yourself that the healthy
habits you learned before your vacation were all for nothing and
that you have to start over. Ask yourself if these feelings are
reasonable. Are you really back to ground zero? Of course not.
You accepted change and developed a new way of living; these skills
are yours forever. The vacation might even have done you some
good: everyone needs a break sometimes. Otherwise, you might have
felt deprived and not really enjoyed yourself. It's time now to
tell yourself: "It felt good eating whatever I wanted and taking
a break from exercising; I had a great time. But now I'm going
to focus back on the low-fat, active lifestyle I was enjoying
before vacation. There is no reason to beat myself up; I'll just
take it one day at a time." Now you can rethink your previous
decision and take action that will move you forward towards more
positive change.
As you begin to understand your reasons for negative
self-talk, you'll findyourself recognizing it more and more quickly
after it occurs. Eventually, as you practice, you'll be able to
recognize and stop negative self-talk before it interferes with
your decisions.
It is very important to practice positive thinking
and to remind yourself that you're a worthwhile person whatever
you do. Try to consistently acknowledge that you are making positive
changes to improve your health. You should be proud of yourself.
Visualize yourself as capable, happy, and confident. These positive
feelings will help the process of change. Remember, there are
bound to be times when you're feeling frustrated or depressed.
Positive thinkers know that these feelings are valid, and they
don't try to ignore them. Positive thinkers acknowledge and try
to understand them, but they don't blame themselves for the conditions
that lead to these feelings. Good luck, stay positive, and enjoy
all the wonderful benefits of a healthy lifestyle!
