I've often talked about the "comfort zone" and the
feelings associated with the comfort zone: disappointment, guilt,
anger, and fear.
We talked recently about the great fears that hold
us back from achieving whatever it is we really want. One of the
great fears is the fear of success; specifically, as it applies
to health and fitness.
Many of us have unsuccessfully tackled fitness programs
in the past. These unsuccessful attempts can bring on the fear
of failure. However, you may begin to realize that your weight
problem goes deeper than that. You may feel uneasy, even scared,
when picturing yourself "in-shape," energized, and living life
to the fullest.
Could it be that many people fear the very goal
that they seek?
According to experts, that's exactly the case. Along
with success comes the possibility that people will view you differently
and treat you differently. Some people feel that getting and staying
healthy and fit is "just one more commitment" in an already over-committed
life. And there is the worry that as your body changes, you change,
too. Once you get a grip on your fitness-related fears, you can
gradually overcome them.
There are myths and misinformation put thoughts
into people's heads that they have to work out like crazy forever.
Movie stars train for hours a day to prepare for a role and to
keep their bodies in Hollywood-shape, and professional athletes
dedicate 50+ hours a week to their sport. (These are EXCEPTIONS,
not the norm.)
Getting fit means you have to take on uncomfortable
risks. But ultimately, you get what you want.
You could think of exercise as a prescription. When
you get your medicine, you don't take the whole bottle at once,
do you? Of course not. The medicine won't work, and it is extremely
harmful to your body.
The prescription calls for specific doses at specific
intervals for maximum effectiveness. So for exercise, you're spreading
out your dosages over the course of a week. Key point: taking
your exercise "medicine," just like any real medicine, MUST be
taken CONSISTENTLY to be most effective.
The excuse of "I don't have time" to exercise is
easily dispelled. However, the fear that people will treat you
differently is not so easily gotten rid of. Even though the desire
to look fantastic and feel strong is at or near the top of want
lists, many people worry about the reactions to their improved
appearance.
Suddenly, you're being flirted with and being showered
with compliments. When you're overweight, you have the protection
of the extra weight that takes you out of the competition. In
other words, excess weight can serve as a barrier of protection
against what is desired and, at the same time, feared. The internal
arm-wrestling match.
If there is a history of abuse, an addiction or
condition, therapy works well to help a person be more assertive
and come to terms with the reason why s/he uses excess weight
as a shield.
Strangers and acquaintances are not the only people
who treat the newly fit person differently. You may find your
relatives and friends treat you differently as well. You may even
have experienced the loss of a friend once you got in shape and
s/he isn't, or at least they were spending less and less time
with you.
It's like they're saying, "I like the old, fat,
lethargic you better." What they're really saying is, "I don't
like that you're improving yourself and I'm not. I'm jealous because
you've done it, and I can't." They may view they way you keep
yourself well as self-centered and narcissistic.
Family members can also have trouble dealing with
a dramatic physical change. I can't tell you the number of times
I've heard, "My husband doesn't support me. My kids think I'm
a fanatic." Family members can have the same issues as friends,
but being healthy and fit can get right to the roots of what holds
your family together. No kidding.
For some families, being together means stuffing
your face. Auntie doesn't understand why you want to go for a
30-minute walk after dinner rather than have dessert. Cousins
and uncles may be disappointed that you don't want to stay for
the football game.
It's YOUR job NOT to take this sort of "cold shoulder
treatment" personally. Talk to them. COMMUNICATE. Tell them what
you're trying to do. Tell them how much you need their support.
The fear is understandable. But the rewards - better
looks, better health, being more active, more confidence, more
energy - outweigh ANY fear. The changes in yourself are empowering
and exciting. For the most part, your family and friends are likely
your biggest supporters.
So, no matter what your fears, remember your goals.
Keep your eye on the prize.
This article was provide by Garrett J. Braunreiter,
CSCS, GHF's Success Coach. Please visit his site at http://www.worldpeakperformance.com
